how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
