I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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Randomize
