Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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