We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
