Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
