All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
