you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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