went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
