I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
