her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
