dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
