have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
