do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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