His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
