I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
