I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I love you. Go after that dick
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize