now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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