Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize