I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize