that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
