It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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