Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
