He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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