David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
