There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize