do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
false alarm, still single
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
