My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i think i have herpe
just one?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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