So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
