I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
