For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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