So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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