I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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