I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
