dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
