i jhust puked up my retainher.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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