So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
