Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize