Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She announced her abortion via fbk
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
