I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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