where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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