the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize