it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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