I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
