How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
