She announced her abortion via fbk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think your dad took our porno
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
