"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
