He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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