Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
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