what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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