I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
