this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
