Your mouth is God's brothel.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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