I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In other news, I just burned my penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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