What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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