I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
