You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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