yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize