Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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