were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Boobs speak an international language.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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