my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
