Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
