i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
