:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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