She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
